Triggers and Growth

Ok where do I start.... So I had this situation happen to me a week or so ago that was totally unexpected. Now I am extremely compassionate towards other people and most of the time I end up being patient with people that most people usually give up on much quicker, but because I don’t like to make a person feel isolated, I somehow end up in this role over and over again.

So there was this particular person that I have been very patient with when nobody else was that really had a habit of overstepping his/her boundaries a lottttt. Being the upfront but kind person that I am, I would speak my mind of course, but never make a big deal about it. Well one day we had a misunderstanding and he/she kind of blew up on me. Not as aggressive as they could have I’m sure, but more aggressive than I’ve ever seen this person react before. More than that, this Individual said some words to me that triggered this anger in me that I have only seen visible in myself once in my whole adult life. I felt completely out done and defeated the remainder of the day because of how I reacted in defense.

The rest of the day I was just a wreck. I couldn’t believe I gave someone the power to make me that upset. The entire day I was even trying to justify my actions or beat myself up for even entertaining it. The next day I was driving to work and I was still reflecting. I started to say “Thank you God”, for allowing this to happen because there has to be a lesson I need to learn, but honestly the lesson I thought was no where near it. So fast forward to the following weekend that this little incident happened, my family and I took a trip out of town to just get away and press the refresh button. We all had dinner with a mutual good friend and we started doing what we normally do which is talk about life. Well out of nowhere this friend started to go back and forth as we were discussing how much things had changed since we all hung out non stop back in the day and some of the experiences we’ve shared and before you know it, a conversation was sparked between myself and a family member that I wasn’t fond of and I immediately said let’s just stop talking because I don’t like it when this person does whatever it was that they were doing. I wish I could remember what it was exactly, but that makes my case even worse that I don’t lol.

So our friend looked over at me and said we couldn’t stop talking about this subject until he knew for sure that I wasn’t mad. I said I’m not mad, but he/she knows that triggers me and they continue to do it anyway so it makes me want to explode. He then said, “You shouldn’t allow whatever that trigger is to keep you from doing what is right.” He said that I was more in the wrong for allowing someone with the same patterns upset me, and that I needed to learn how to deal with that trigger and respond differently.

This is why I always say it’s all about how information is delivered most times if you really want to see a reaction in someone. See my friend could have said it with judgment or aggression and would have completely missed the mark with me because I don’t respond well to that type of approach At all, but because I could genuinely see him speaking with so much love I honestly had to sit there a second and say, you know what you’re right.

He said, “God is going to make you continue to go through the same test and use different people to take you through it until you learn whatever it is you need to learn from this. Y’all that moment made my whole entire weekend and hopefully my whole entire life. I was so focused on the other person’s actions and how I felt tried to the fifth power 🤣, that I didn’t stop to think for a second that “girl your reaction is more of a You problem than a Them problem.” Now they may also have to work on trying not to provoke me as well, but because I am the one seeking true transformation then the responsibility of transition is mostly on me.

Throughout life people are going to continuously provoke you and do things that you do not like. Sometimes they don’t even mean any harm, but if you are not learning your lesson of how God wants you to respond to these things then you will continue to be tested. Now I can’t just promise the next time I won’t do it again, but what I do know for sure is that from now on I will be more conscious of it and try my best not to react. I have to start somewhere right? When you are truly trying to better yourself and grow in every way, things are going to come at you from every direction and you really have to stay prayed up and ready for battle. We all have things that kind of sets us off quicker than others, but it is always ultimately up to us how we decide to respond to those things.

So, What are your triggers? What are some things that you could work on in terms of dealing with other people? What situations have you been tested on that now you can honestly say you have grown from? Remember, this page only focuses on growth and not perfection so if you are reading to hear a perfect story about a perfect girl that has all the answers and gets it right every single time then you are following the wrong page. To my readers that’s ready to continue on the growth transformation tour then hang on and let’s ride this thing out together. We are going to need all hands on deck. Let’s do it!

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© 2020 by Khadija Romney @ planningabetteryou.com